When I became a mom.

I have wanted to get on here for a couple of days to talk about motherhood. Mother's day is coming up in a couple of days and I have been wondering what exactly I wanted to talk about. Do I want to talk about my mom? Do I want to go into my life as a mom? So many things. And then it hit me. I should talk about what happened the first day I became a mom.

A New Journey

It's 2017. It's been a long while since I have come here. At that point in my life I felt I didn't need to post anymore. Since then, a lot of things have been going on in my life and I have come to a point that I think it's time to come back to the blog. Here is a little bit of what has been going on without going into a lot of detail.

Back in early 2014 J and I decided to try again to have a baby after my fibroid surgery that previous December. We worked with our reproductive endocrinologist and we were successful on the second try. I ended up quitting Zumba because I was so nervous that I would harm the baby (crazy right). But everything seemed to be going well. We kept hitting milestone after milestone and though it felt like forever before we would see the doctor again, our RE said we were good to go to our regular OB for the rest of the pregnancy. I can't begin to explain the joy we felt every time we would see the doctor and she would tell us how great things were going. Days turned into weeks that turned into months. Until finally.....

Changes

So I was going through my phone and looking at all the pictures. I was really trying to see if there were any I needed to get rid of because they were pointless. And I came across a picture that shocked me.

A look back

So, haven't really posted a while. But, if you know me at all, you know that I don't really do a lot in my own journal let alone something someone else is going to see. But I do have a few things that I want to talk about.

Day 291

So I came over here to update my "Books" portion of my blog and found a suprise. I am only ONE book away from reading/listening to 30 books for the year! Hooray! I actually had to up my membership on audible because I was going through more than one book a month. So I am wondering what number I will get to by the end of the year? Probably only a little over 30 since the year is almost over. Holy crap! The year is almost over!

At work we are already working on implamenting the holiday decorations. Not putting them up until after Thanksgiving, but we are buying a lot and coming up with things to get people in the door. And let me say, I love being busy. I enjoy working here....a lot. Granted, my ideal job would be to dance all day at my own studio and teach dance. But that will not pay the bills. And we have bills.

But I digress. This isn't going to be long as I do need to get back to work. But I thought I would put that in since I noticed it as I was updating.

Another fun fact. It has been 15 weeks since I was told I was "pre-diabetic" and started eating fewer carbs. I was at 185 at that time and I size 16. This passed weekend I had to go out and get more slacks for work as I only had 2 pair that fit me. They are all size 14. I dropped a whole pant size! And I got on the scale this morning to see what it would tell me. Ladies and gents..........................170lbs!!! I haven't seen 170 since before J and I started trying for a baby! That is 15 pounds gone in 15 weeks. I honestly can't believe it! Granted I am not able to eat some of the things that I used to. But just like soda, I am getting used to not having it. Speaking of soda. I have not had soda since April. That is 7 months without. And I must say I don't miss it as much as I used to.

Well thems the facts as I know them. Bye!

H

Day 255 - An Opinion needing to get out

I have an opinion. This thought has been in my mind for a couple of weeks and I need to get it out. And I keep feeling like I should either state that opinion or keep it to myself. So I am writing it down so that I can stop thinking about that opinion. And it is MY opinion. If you agree, fine. But if not, it is still my opinion. You do not have to read on.

Day 250

So I realized something the other day and have yet to talk about it.

Day 222

This entry is going to be in pieces because new things keep coming up or I go do something else here at work because it's my job but then want to say something here. So bare with me. :)

Ventings and Crap-ola

You know maybe I am not cut out to do Zumba. I really enjoy and I have been doing it for the past 3 years. My classes never seem to really grow. I am always have something else going on when traingings are happening and just got told that what I do is too hard. And this is the stuff I actually get from the Zumba DVD's I get. It's  not very often that I make up my own stuff as I like what Zumba corporate does. It's not really corporate, but I couldn't think of a better word.

And of course I am completely distracted at my job because of this. I give my opinion to an event that happened on Saturday. And what do I get in return? Well her Zumba was too hard for the kids. You know I actually work at this place and what I perceive is my reality. And to me, people were late and things weren't ready to go at 10:00AM when they were supposed to. And a vendor was doing something it was explicitly told not to.

I have been certified in Zumbatomic for a year now, and I am going to be starting classes in September. But am I actually qualified? Am I a good teacher? I don't know anymore. A few years ago I think I would have said yes. Because I wasn't this bitter person with a dark cloud that seems to loom over my head most of the time. But now I don't know.

What am I supposed to do?

Day 207

So I have had this up for awhile to talk about the book series I am reading/listening to. But I kept getting distracted and just can't seem to get started. So I will have to do it later. I will say I am not even halfway to 50 books and I only have half a year to go. I may have needed to start with a smaller number. Okay, I will say  if I can get to 30 books by the end of the year then great! I am at 17 books so far. I am going through about 2 books a month so I may be able to make it.

Like I said I am being distracted. But I will put what I weighed this morning.....179.8lbs! That is -0.6lbs from last week! Pretty happy. I will say no more as I am very busy. Perhaps when I get more time I will talk about the series I am reading.

H

Day 199

Well I have been 2 weeks into trying to eat low carb items, but only 2 days into doing mostly Atkins type meals. So here is my weigh in....

My blog

So I have realized that the nature of this blog has changed a bit. I started out with a postitive outlook for 2013 and made some goals. Of course I realize that this might have been my way to keep covering up my depression which of course doesn't/didn't help.

2 and a half years later......

2 and a half years ago my mom died......I have had 4 miscarriages.....But I have been with an amazing man for 6 years now....

Into week 5.....

Weigh In:

Previous - 184.8
Current – 183.2
-1.6lbs lost

Monday Weigh In

Realized I hadn't posted this.....

Weigh In:Previous - 184.8
Current – 184.8
No lbs lost.

Though I am not really suprised. I think I took in as many calories that I burned. But I will say that I have noticed the difference in how my clothes are fitting again which people say you need to look at more than the scale.

So I am going to try and start doing more than just the cardio work. I saw this 30-day Abs challenge that I think I am going to try. We shall see how that goes.

Had to start over my 2nd week of C25K as I didn't really get my 3 runs in last week. Hopefully I can get them in this week. I missed yesterday because I ended up staying way too long at the fabric store and got super hungry. I also had a friend coming over to hang out, so I really didn't get it in like I wanted. Hopefully I can do it tomorrow. Get to see my new nephew tomorrow night. So I hope I can run before they come over.

Anyway, that's all for now!

H

Week 3??

Weigh In:

Previous - 185.2
Current – 184.8
-0.2lbs

The Comeback

Well I am back at it. For the past week I have started back on my getting my goals accomplished this year. And let me tell you, it is hard when you feel like the one goal in your life that you “truly” want won’t happen.

For those who knew, who didn't, and who wanted to.

In my last post I was frustrated that I wasn't losing any weight. And I haven't been able to post since then because I found out why. I was pregnant. Key word, was. We weren't telling anyone because this was my 4th pregnancy and we didn't know what to expect.

I think my resolve has dwindled. I haven't wanted to post anything about anything I have been doing because I have been feeling awful about myself. Although I don't know why I should. I did end up getting a job. An actual, full time job. Since my layoff in 2011, I haven't had a full time steady job. There was way something. But now I do and I really enjoy it.

Fitness Challenge - Day 6-8

Back is getting better. Which is nice.